Trying To Recover

Well, four days ago I told Nicky that I would not see her again and told her to take care and that I loved her very much. Haven't phoned her since.

I'm going through some wild mood-swings at the moment. Sometimes I feel good, that there is someone out there that I am meant for, that isn't her. That my life will be much better now. Then within seconds I can be so depressed or start crying for no real reason. Rushing out of work to hide away isn't fun...

My love was such a rock, she's treated me so badly for over six months now. And she hasn't moved it. I still love her so much. But my spirit feels so battered at the moment, bruised all over. I'm sure it wont be quick to heal, but I hope it does eventually. I mostly just want someone to hold me and tell me everything will be good again. But there isn't anyone, so I must fight through alone and hope I meet someone special one day.

Just feel really emotionally battered atm. I know it isn't very manly (well, considered by some anyway) but it's not something I can help much at the moment.